Whether you are separated, divorced, or in-tact family, this is an important message. One of your children's most important needs is to see their parents respect each other. They are watching you when you're getting along, and they are watching you when you aren't. Remember, children tend to take everything personally and feel loyalty to both of their parents no matter how "good" or "bad" they are, so your complaining is probably causing your child unnecessary anxiety. They are also learning how they should be treated by the way you treat each other. In the end, if you devalue your child's other parent, they may lose respect for both of you.
Unfortunately, chances are that there is probably good reason to complain about your child's other parent. You are trying to be the best parent you can be, but you are probably the one who has to deal with your child's disappointments and that can be heartbreaking. Find a healthy outlet for your stress and disappointment. Consider talking to a close friend in private, working-out, prayer, and of course counseling. You definitely need a release for your legitimate concern for your mounting stress.
Leana Sykes is a Relationship Counselor and the owner of Leana Sykes Relationship Counseling & Mediation in Oaklyn, NJ.