"So, what are we?": How to Have "The Talk" and other Difficult Conversations with your Partner2/26/2015  Talking about our relationships and expressing our emotions is risky and makes us vulnerable to hurt, rejection, and loneliness. Revealing the most tender and vulnerable parts of ourselves can be terrifying if we are not sure that our partner feel the same. This is why both men and women skirt around these topics. We can get so desperate for answers that we play mind games trying to get the information we need to fee safe without taking the risk of opening up.
To allay the uncomfortable nature of the conversation, let your partner know that you are nervous. Your partner is more likely to show compassion and sensitivity to your feelings if they know that you are feeling uncomfortable. They are also more likely to open-up themselves and let you know how they feel if you are brave enough to start the conversation and put yourself out there first. Ease into the conversation and judge how much you will open-up based on your partners verbal and nonverbal reactions. If their face softens and you feel they are responsive and attending to your feelings, you may feel comfortable opening-up even more. If they tense up, avoid eye contact, or change the subject, it may not be the right time. Leana Sykes is a Relationship Counselor and the owner of Leana Sykes Relationship Counseling & Mediation in Oaklyn, NJ.
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 Valentine's Day Survival Guide 1. Act as if it is any other day- Because it is. 2. Do all of your favorite things- Eat your favorite meal. Wear your favorite sweater, and your favorite underwear. 3. Send love notes to friends and family- Let your most patient and loving friends, and your favorite family members know how much you appreciate the love that they've given you through the years. They deserve to know how much comfort their love has given you. 4. Stay off of social media- Proclamations of love on social media are annoying every other day of the year, and they are especially annoying on Valentine's day. Delete the app on your phone for the day if you have too. 5. Go to the movies with a single friend~ See a fun romantic comedy or an engrossing suspense film, but definitely do not subject yourself to a sappy romantic film. This is not the day for The Notebook, my friend. 6. Get a massage ~ Face it, it's Valentine's day. You know you want to get felt-up a little. For those of you who are attached: Isn't the person you love so much in the other room, or sitting right next to you? Turn your head, tell the person you love how much you love them, tell them what it is about them that you love, and give them a kiss. Way better than a card, a text, or a tweet. Leana Sykes is a Relationship Counselor and the owner of Leana Sykes Relationship Counseling & Mediation in Oaklyn, NJ. |
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