There is nothing worse than spending 8 hours of your day surrounded by people who don't like you. You're being left out of the happy hour invites, and the thought of going to the office Christmas party makes you want to shove mistletoe in your eye.
Is it me?
Are you messy?
Think you're better than everyone?
Have no boundaries/T.M.I issues?
A Debbie Downer/Whiner/Complainer?
I'll be honest with you, these are the people that are always getting on their co-workers nerves. Is it time to do some soul searching and make some changes in your behavior at work?
Am I over thinking this?
Ever here of a self-fulfilling prophecy? This is when you perceive a scenario that doesn't exist. What happens is that you live in that perception and make decisions based on that perception, and suddenly that "truth" actually become reality.
What if you co-workers actually don't hate you, or at least didn't hate you at first, yet you believed that they did. So you started treating them as if they hated you, avoiding them, dismissing them, not engaging with them. What this behavior made you look stand-offish to the co-workers and this behavior made them, well, hate you? What if you overthought the whole thing?
Well what do I do about it?
Maybe you can turn the tide by taking a few small risks. Warm-up a little to your least standoffish co-worker. After some time, ask them if they want to grab lunch? As that improves, try it out with the next least standoffish co-worker. See where that takes you. Remember to open-up a little. Let them get to know a little more about you as a person, and make sure try to get to know them better as well.
Was there something specific that happened that caused your co-workers to turn their backs on you? Maybe it's time to clear the air and discuss the incident. A counselor can help you organize your thoughts and your plan of approach in these situations.
Oh, but is way worse than you think
If your co-workers or your boss are so terrible that it creates a hostile work environment for you and is impacting your daily happiness, you may want to report the situation to your Human Resources Department. You may also want to seek-out a therapist that can help you navigate these unsafe waters.
Leana Sykes is a Relationship Counselor and the owner of Leana Sykes Relationship Counseling in Oaklyn, NJ.