Why Do People Cheat?
Let's face it, some men and women are just selfish, irresponsible dogs. Yes, women can be dogs too. There are other reasons why people cheat, here are just a few:
They feel shamed (less than)
This is the reason that comes into my office the most. Feelings of shame linked to being unemployed, less desirable, or just a general feeling of being the weaker partner, have led people to find someone that makes them feel better about being them. I've seen this start with online dating flirtation to just a close friend.
They've been disappointed
Some of the most vulnerable times in our relationships are right after someone has been let down. It can be by broken promises, a huge fight, one partner dismissing something that was very important to the other, or perhaps being cheated on ourselves. Whether it's revenge, or just wanting to feel important, most of us will do things completely out of character to stop these feelings.
It runs in the family
I am definitely not saying this is always true, but when someone has grown up in a home full of unstable relationships, they are much more likely to have unstable relationships themselves...just sayin'.
They can't satisfy their partner
It's a terrible feeling to know that you are unable to make your partner happy. If you are always letting your partner down, that can do some serious damage on your ego. We always want to fill the hole of sadness and loneliness. Sometimes, when everything else has been tried to satisfy him or her, and someone comes along that is looking for you to satisfy them, it can be very tempting to take that needed boost to the ego.
Someone finds them desirable
Many of us are able to resist the advances of others when we are in a committed relationship, well, most of the time. Sometimes, when we feel ignored by our partner, are going through a hard time in our relationship, or are generally unsatisfied it can be more difficult. When we are feeling down, we are much more vulnerable and attracted to those who are giving us the attention that we deeply need and desire.
They are sex addicts
Sex addiction is real and not just an excuse for irresponsible behavior. Just like any other addict, a sex addict is willing to put his or her partner, family , job and livelihood on the line just for that next "hit".
Leana Sykes is a Relationship Counselor and the owner of Leana Sykes Relationship Counseling in Oaklyn, NJ.
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